Its just resting

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's supreme dalek Tim Cook has tried to calm jittery investors worried that AI might finally kill off the sacred iPhone cash cow.

Snapdragon pulls 61 per cent of revenue as chipmaker bets on glasses, cars and clouds

Qualcomm has managed to beat the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street’s estimates for Q2 2025, pulling in a tidy $10.37 billion in revenue, even as the clock ticks down on its once-lucrative relationship with the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple.

Only a $40bn Perplexity buyout will save Jobs' Mob

Analysts from Wedbush have delivered a damning verdict on the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s artificial intelligence ambitions, claiming the company is incapable of building AI internally and should just cough up $40 billion to buy someone else’s brainpower.

Flat iPhone sales, legal threats to App Store and Google deal unsettle investors

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is about to unveil its latest earnings report, and the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street are getting twitchy. Despite a stock price that’s multiplied ninefold since 2015, Apple hasn’t sold more iPhones in 2024 than it did a decade ago.

iPhone’s “new” Clean Up tool is actually just Google’s Magic Eraser in drag

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has wheeled out its latest “innovation” for iOS 26, which is really just a old Google Pixel feature dressed up in Californian smug.

Cloudflare, Groq and Positron chase greener inference alternatives

Chip boffins are scrambling to cut the soaring energy costs of artificial intelligence, with a new generation of startups targeting Nvidia’s grip on the market by building faster, leaner, and more efficient inference silicon.

Oculus and Anduril founder reckons some Yanks will pay extra

The bloke behind Oculus and the defence-tech darling Anduril, Palmer Luckey wants to take on laptops. But not your usual “assembled in the States with bits from Shenzhen” nonsense. He’s wants to build a Made in USA machine that ticks the Federal Trade Commission’s uncompromising box.

Cloud Act clashes with Europe’s fantasy of digital sovereignty

Software King of the World, Microsoft has admitted it cannot keep French citizen data safe from the reach of US authorities, even when it is locked up in EU data centres.

Dataops firm can't "fix you" as affair with HR chief becomes internet meme

A night out watching Apple's favourite band Coldplay has cost Astronomer’s now ex-CEO Andy Byron his job and possibly his reputation. Byron resigned in disgrace after being caught up in a scandal involving the company’s Chief People Officer, Kristin Cabot.

Job’s Mob's foldable looks like Samsung clone

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is finally edging toward the foldable market, with its first iPhone Fold pencilled in for 2026 but behind the scenes, engineers are far from thrilled.