Its just resting

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple's supreme dalek Tim Cook has tried to calm jittery investors worried that AI might finally kill off the sacred iPhone cash cow.

Flat iPhone sales, legal threats to App Store and Google deal unsettle investors

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is about to unveil its latest earnings report, and the cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street are getting twitchy. Despite a stock price that’s multiplied ninefold since 2015, Apple hasn’t sold more iPhones in 2024 than it did a decade ago.

Job’s Mob's foldable looks like Samsung clone

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is finally edging toward the foldable market, with its first iPhone Fold pencilled in for 2026 but behind the scenes, engineers are far from thrilled.

New A18-powered laptop could undercut the $999 Air

The Fruity Cargo Cult, Apple is toying with the radical idea of building a laptop that doesn’t require you to sell a kidney or sell your children for medical experiments first.

Job’s Mob reckons building Siri properly takes decades

After months of mocking silence about Siri’s “smarts” Apple executives have surfaced to defend their wobbly AI rollout and somehow made it sound like all part of the plan.

Tame Apple Press tries to spin ‘nothing to see here’ into AI genius

WWDC 2025 is around the corner, but the only thing the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple seems ready to unleash is a desperate off the books PR campaign to lower expectations while pretending it still knows what it's doing.

iPhones made outside US could get slapped with a massive tax

President Donald Trump is kicking off another round of his trade war antics, and this time the Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is in the firing line. On 23 May 2025, Trump warned Apple boss Tim Cook that unless iPhones are made in the US, they’ll be hit with a 25 per cent tariff.

Apple's iPhone supply chain shifts further from China to Chennai

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is moving more of its iPhone supply chain into India, with its long-time partner Foxconn dropping $1.5 billion on a new display module plant near Chennai. 

Beijing data woes and Alibaba tie-up give Washington conniptions

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple might want to shove Apple Intelligence into every iPhone it sells, but doing that in China could turn into a diplomatic landmine.

Cook does not want to blame tariffs

The Fruity Cargo Cult, Apple is plotting price hikes for its autumn iPhone 17 lineup while pretending tariffs have nothing to do with it.