Jobs' Mob insists this fabric oddity is “a beautiful way to wear and carry iPhone”, which is marketing speak for “we needed something else to sell you for Christmas”.

The great "innovation" here is a ribbed 3D knit that stretches to fit any iPhone or whatever other tat you want to stuff into it. When pulled, it also lets you peek at the contents. A polite way of saying your £1,200 iPhone sits inside a neon tea cosy.

It comes in “playful colours” like lemon, mandarin, cinnamon and purple, which is perfect if you have always wanted your costly phone dangling from a string like a tourist’s passport pouch advertising to muggers that you have more money than sense.

You can hold it, tie it to a bag or wear it on your body like a badge of honour proclaiming “I paid £245 for a stretchy sock”.

ISSEY MIYAKE design boss Yoshiyuki Miyamae said the thing “speaks to the bond between iPhone and its user” which is one way of putting it. A therapist might see things differently.

Apple’s Molly Anderson claims it is “a natural accompaniment to our products”, though she stops short of saying why a tiny purse costs $149.95 for the short version and an eye-watering $229.95 for the long strap.

For that money, the thing should at least cook your dinner. Instead, it is a single tube of knitted fabric made in Japan, apparently the result of extensive research and development. One imagines a committee staring at a sock for nine months before deciding it is revolutionary enough for Apple’s shelves.

Jobs' Mob will flog it in select stores across the UK, US, Europe and Asia, which is perfect if you want to broadcast your more stupid financial decisions to the world. Apple Specialists will even help you “mix and match” colours with your iPhone, which is a hilarious service to offer for something that costs more than a pair of decent trainers.

Basically, it is a pouch, bearing a designer label, and Apple wants more than two hundred quid for the long one.

If nothing else, it proves Apple can sell absolutely anything as long as it has a glossy photo and a poetic quote attached.

Ironically, Steve Jobs took the p*ss out of a similar product when he was alive. In those days, it was just as silly and much, much cheaper.