Apple sees a last-minute sales surge
Tariff panic sends iPhone punters scrambling
The cocaine nose jobs of Wall Street barely had time to flinch before punters started storming Job’s Mob’s stores, fearing price spikes after Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s latest tariff tantrum.
iPhone starts installing random Chinese apps
iOS 18.4 "feature" shoves Chinese games onto iPhones without asking
Some iPhone users updating to iOS 18.4 are getting more than they bargained for—namely, surprise apps appearing on their Home Screens, including dubious-looking games like Cooking Mama and Squid Game knockoffs.
Snapdragon 8s Gen 4 set to muscle in without Oryon
A premium chip minus the flagship price tag
Qualcomm appears ready to give its Snapdragon 8 series a fresh kick with the upcoming Gen 4 version, designed for consumers who want flagship performance without paying flagship prices.
Trump’s minions outwitted by Signal group chat—again
Top advisors leak details, shirtless selfies, and possibly national security
Not content with accidentally roping in The Atlantic’s Jeffrey Goldberg for a ringside view of military plans, President [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump’s minions have managed to leak their phone numbers, emails, and Signal handles of key security personnel—including a topless Secretary of Defense.
Job’s Mob keeps switching Apple Intelligence back on
It seems the intelligent thing to do
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has once again decided it knows better than its users. With its latest iOS 18.3.2 update, it’s quietly forcing Apple Intelligence back on—even if Apple fanboys told it to sod off.